I had so much in my mind that I wish to share. So much that I don't know which to actually blog about. Thus, this will be a totally random-train-of-thought kind of post. Hence the messy-ness (if there is such a word, as I had said, my thoughts were a little jumbled out, can't think of an acronym until everything is out of my mind). Hopefully this won't end up a train wreck!

Ok here goes:

Firstly, I like to express my love for instrumental music (well, doesn't always have to be classical, that's ignorant to be thinking like that). Obviously that was in my mind because I was listening to some myself. Love the voice of trombone but still think marimba is the best when you are looking for a solo instrument. xD strong upper register, although not my favourite (too shrill at times), versatile middle range, and of course the deep, resonating, full-sounding bass end (the author's favourite, we say thankya). Probably that's why I take that instrument so seriously : I do remember the feel of the resonance on the wooden platform. Or mayhaps it's because four mallet grip is so cool. Seriously, people should really appreciate all these music as well. Who ever listens to Rachmaninoff's 2nd Piano Concerto, Beethoven's 9th, Mahler's notorious symphonies, or even Bernstein's West Side Story? Good for you if you ever did, I say thankya.

Now some pessimistic thoughts are running through. I think I'll stay those thoughts. But there is one I like to share. Have you ever felt all you have worked for was all for nothing? I have been constantly been plagued by those thoughts, and been second-guessing myself, especially during the course of this year. Maybe it was because, for the first time in my life, I have worked so hard for something, and yet lose it altogether all the same. Not to say I can't be better and already tried my utter best, just that before I was a little more half-hearted at most stuffs, and it turn out well, yet when I tried harder, it just fails. Not the first time this year either. Just gets you wondering. Isn't nineteen (well, maybe I am not 19 yet... but you get me) supposed to be the year you feel like : Aiye, I smoke weed and I shit real stink, better not cross me or else...! You know, like the world is not your match, the world has yet to see your full potential, I am invincible, kind of thing? I thought the Patrol Boy (as Stephen King calls it) should come visit years later, in your forty's or something. I guess mine came earlier.

I can't really sleep early. Felt very much awake even in the wee hours. Yet, working night time, going through some work and studies was very quiet and productive. At least until a certain point. But hell yeah, I prefer working at night. And working alone. I don't believe in groups when it comes to academic works. It just never works for me. I think this scenario will be familiar : hey let's study th... wait, what did that fellow just commented on your status? Or : Today we are going to finish this chapter, but first let's facebook/chit-chat/gossip/play some ball games, computer games/etc. to warm up first. Hell ya warm up, it normally takes the whole day and the whole schedule.

And can someone tell me whether does a pair of parallel vectors have a same angle of rotation from the origin? Well, actually I am very convinced that's in the affirmative. What I was thinking is that whether by looking at the angle of rotation can I determine when does 2 vectors with different vector equations, with respect to time, are parallel to each other? I was thinking of this problem for quite some time (half heartedly though, I am having my finals now. An unbelievably long one). I think you can, but when I try to test it, it doesn't work. I am sure I made a mistake somewhere. And no, you can't use the normal method, you'll just be introducing too many unknowns. Note to self : solve this problem!

On a lighter note, at least I know some University wants me. Phew! I was almost convinced no one would want me. Thank God for that!

Mostly I felt bored. And a little lonely. But I guess it's because of the exam : too long breaks, stay at home for far too long an hour. So nothing much about that I guess.

And some blabber about some topics. I'll leave it for some other time, when my thinking is more organised.

O yeah, I observed that I have a very peculiar habit. Like doing something before some big event. Like abandoning FB before exams, trying to get wrong notes before a performance (hell, I even imagined it while rehearsing). Listening to performance songs a million times before performance (well, actually there is a logic behind this). And some others people close to me and performed with me would have known. Scores of other. Weird huh? Can't change, think wouldn't be changing for some time.

Well, I guess that's all from me for now. Now that my brain was a little clearer, I think I do have another word for messy-ness. Interested? Look up. Far up.

Till then,